Tips for discussing a prenup with your partner

Prenuptial agreements are becoming more and more common, especially among younger couples. Though they once held a stigma and seemed unnecessary for people who were not ultra-wealthy, prenups can be a valuable resource for all types of couples today.

That said, if you are among those considering a prenuptial agreement, you may still feel uncomfortable discussing the subject. However, there are a few important tips that can make it a little easier to talk about with your partner.

Choose the setting wisely

While your initial discussion need not be in a formal setting like an attorney’s office, you should also not be cavalier about when and where you discuss having a prenup. Think about the reaction your partner might have and be respectful.

Often, people find it helpful to talk about it somewhere comfortable, like their home, and when they have the space and time to process the issues. Don’t bring it up at a family gathering, for example, or when you are fighting over wedding details.

Find common ground

There is a misconception that wanting a prenup means a person doesn’t trust their partner or doesn’t believe the marriage will last. To avoid conflict, start by discussing the items you likely agree on — e.g. how you prefer to resolve disputes and what property you currently own individually.

It can also be helpful to discuss the benefits of a prenup, as well as how it can be advantageous for both of you.

Be open and honest

If you are marrying someone, you likely know almost everything there is to know about each other. Financial and marital expectations included.

As such, be open and honest during these discussions. Having a frank conversation about these topics may not be romantic, but doing so can be a crucial step in entering your marriage on the same page. It need not be a cold or insensitive discussion, but it should be candid.

When the time comes to draft the prenup, negotiate terms or sign it, another helpful tip is to make sure you each have legal counsel. This protects both parties from signing an invalid agreement or one that they don’t understand or is not in their best interests.