Find the Path That Fits Your Situation
Every family's situation is different, and there's more than one way to resolve a divorce or custody matter. This short quiz will ask a few questions about your circumstances and point you toward the option that tends to fit best — whether that's mediation, collaborative law, traditional representation, or coaching.
This quiz is for general guidance only and is not legal advice. It takes about 2 minutes.
Before We Go Further
We want to make sure any path we suggest is safe for you.
Is there a current or recent Protection From Abuse (PFA) order involving you or the other party?
Do you feel safe being in the same room, or on the same call, as the other party?
Has the other party ever threatened you or your children, or controlled your access to money, communication, or transportation?
Communication & Trust
Can you and the other party have a calm conversation about your kids or finances, even if it's uncomfortable?
Do you believe the other party would honestly disclose income, debts, and assets if asked directly?
Is one of you significantly more knowledgeable about your finances than the other?
Goals & Relationship
Is staying on workable terms with the other party (for example, for co-parenting) important to you?
Would you rather have someone advocating for your position, or a neutral professional helping you both reach an agreement?
Are you hoping to avoid court appearances if at all possible?
Complexity & Urgency
Do you and the other party generally agree on the big picture (custody schedule, how to divide property), even if details still need work?
Are there business interests, complex assets, or significant disputes over what something is worth?
Is there an urgent issue — needing to leave the home immediately, a child's safety, or asset dissipation — that can't wait for a process to unfold?
Readiness
Which best describes where you are right now?
Your Safety Comes First
Based on what you shared, mediation and collaborative law — which rely on both people negotiating directly and in good faith — are not appropriate in your situation right now. That is not a reflection of you or your case. It simply means you deserve an advocate, not a neutral process.
Traditional legal representation gives you a lawyer who works for you alone, can request protective orders, and can advocate for your safety and your children's safety within the court system.
If you are in immediate danger, please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 before doing anything else.
You Need an Advocate in Your Corner
Based on your answers, traditional legal representation is likely the right starting point for you. That might be because there's real disagreement to work through, the situation feels urgent, or you simply want someone advocating for your position rather than facilitating a conversation.
This doesn't mean court is inevitable — most cases settle long before trial — but it does mean you deserve a lawyer who represents only you, protects your interests, and can take the case to court if it comes to that.
What This Looks Like
- An attorney who advocates exclusively for you, not the other party
- Full use of the court system, including discovery and, if needed, trial
- Protection available for urgent issues, complex assets, or significant disputes
Mediation May Be a Strong Fit for You
It sounds like you and the other party are largely aligned on the big picture, and you're both willing to work toward an agreement rather than a ruling. That's exactly the situation mediation is built for.
Important: In mediation, Pam Purdy serves as a neutral facilitator. She does not represent either party and cannot give either of you individual legal advice. Many clients still consult their own attorney to review any agreement before signing, which we encourage.
What This Looks Like
- A neutral mediator who helps you both reach your own agreement
- Typically faster and less costly than litigation
- Private sessions, scheduled around your timeline rather than the court's
Collaborative Law Could Give You the Best of Both Worlds
You want your own advocate in your corner, but you and the other party are both committed to resolving this without going to court. Collaborative law was built for exactly this combination.
In this process, you have your own attorney and the other party has theirs, but everyone signs an agreement committing to settle the case outside of litigation, often working alongside neutral financial or child specialists when helpful.
What This Looks Like
- Your own attorney advocating for you throughout
- A shared commitment from both sides to stay out of court
- Access to neutral specialists (financial, child) when issues call for it
Let's Help You Figure Out What You Actually Want First
It sounds like you're not quite ready to choose a path yet — and that's completely normal. Before you can decide between mediation, collaborative law, or litigation, it often helps to get clear on your own goals, priorities, and what a workable outcome would actually look like for you.
Note: A Divorce Readiness Consultation is coaching, not legal representation or legal advice. It's designed to help you think clearly and prepare emotionally and practically before you take your next step.
You've Resolved the Legal Piece — Now Let's Make Co-Parenting Work
It sounds like your custody or support arrangement is already in place, and what you need now is help putting it into practice — communication, transitions, and the everyday friction that comes with sharing parenting across two households.
A Co-Parenting Reset is a focused session to rebuild a workable structure after a rough patch. Ongoing Co-Parenting Support is regular coaching for situations that benefit from continued guidance over time.
Note: This is coaching, not legal representation. It does not modify your custody order or provide legal advice about your case.