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Key issues to think about before moving forward with a divorce

by | Jul 6, 2020 | divorce, family law

Couples in the Harrisburg area and the surrounding areas of Pennsylvania can face challenges in maintaining a healthy marriage. Many unions can be salvaged with improved communication, lifestyle changes, understanding and perspective. Still, many marriages have reached their natural end and people can no longer stay together. When thinking about a divorce, it is important to consider certain factors.

People are frequently worn down by the stresses of everyday life with family, work and other obligations. This can result in mood changes that sabotage a relationship. Looking at the marriage from the viewpoint of what it once was and what it has become can give the parties an idea as to whether the issues are reparable. Being involved in a relationship with one person for an extended period will have peaks and valleys. Wondering what it would be like to have a life with someone else or taking that step emotionally or physically could be a sign that the person wants to move on.

The relationship itself can be harmed by a failure to achieve one’s needs. Fear of a negative reaction and “going along to get along” while being unhappy about it is a bad sign for the marriage. If a person is no longer motivated to seek what he or she wants, the relationship could be destined to get worse. With the passage of time, values change. What was once important could be viewed as irrelevant and vice versa. Value judgments can be subjective, but that does not lessen its impact. If there is a chasm, it could be the justification to end the marriage.

Compromise is different from the outright change to a person’s identity. It is good to be flexible for the benefit of the marriage. Changing just to avoid arguments tends to be a negative. As people grow older, their feelings could change. Determining if there is any affection left, knowing how the other feels, gauging if the displeasure with the marriage is mutual, thinking about a physical and emotional connection, and a desire to discuss the problems in search of solutions all play a role with the decision to stay together or divorce.

Divorce is rarely easy. Of course, in some cases, the parties amicably decide to split, agree on the fundamental parts of property division, child custody and support, and move on. In others, it is acrimonious. The individual circumstances inevitably vary. Regardless, it is wise to be protected from the start. Before starting the process, consulting with professionals experienced in family law and divorce can be helpful to achieve a reasonable resolution.

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