There is no reason to sugarcoat the truth; divorce is difficult for all involved.
Though it’s never their fault, children may blame themselves for the split and will need reassurance that it had nothing to do with them. Children will also wonder where mom or dad went, and if they’ll see them again? And if so, when?
As with any traumatic event, reactions will differ. Some children may become very quiet, while others will ask you a mountain of questions. In either instance, try to make sure their feelings are heard and to communicate to them that life will be different, and their lifestyle may change.
Yes, you may be going through the most stress, but divorce is a drastic life change for all involved, and children need someone reliable. You will also likely need to vent. If so, find a confidant, like a close and trustworthy friend or immediate family member who will allow you to spill your guts without repercussion or judgment. You may have a very close confidant in your future ex’s family but stray away from preaching to them about your troubles.
Also, stay away from social media for a while. Posting about a great vacation, while stating that you are hurting financially or posting how horrible your ex is will only hurt your case.
3 Actions to better yourself (and your children)
- Create a budget: Budgeting is a very underrated financial tool. No matter your financial situation, it may have already changed, or will in the future. Your lifestyle will be different, and if you wish to succeed after divorce, you will have to adapt, at least for a while. Creating a budget is much different than creating and following a budget, but doing so will ease your stressful mind and, hopefully, your bank account.
- Be prepared: This one is straightforward. A divorce equals documents and an investigation in your personal and private life. Gathering every possible financial report and any information related to assets you would like to protect is an essential step to increase your chances of a favorable outcome. A well-versed family law attorney is a great resource to direct you on what documents to obtain.
- Live a healthy lifestyle: Proper nutrition and regular exercise can do wonders for the body and mind. Adopting healthy habits for yourself, and if applicable, your children will put you all in a better mental and physical state during and after the divorce.
It’s important to find an outlet during a divorce. Kids will have questions, and so will you. Find advocacy through a dedicated family law attorney and comfort through a trustworthy confidant.