After a strenuous divorce, it can seem impossible to keep peace with your co-parent. You know a peaceful environment is the best thing to offer your child but, when emotions are so fresh, it can be hard to practice.
Even though you and your ex-partner don’t work together romantically, you can find a way to work together for your child.
- Becoming mindful: Being mindful of your own emotions can be difficult. It can be especially difficult when your ex-spouse pushes your buttons. Your habitual communication pattern with your ex-spouse can lead to a disruptive environment for your child. When you become more mindful, it’s easier to distance yourself from your emotions and not react in the heat of the moment. It can help you evaluate the consequences of your emotions. This can lead to a more peaceful atmosphere with your co-parent.
- Don’t judge: Judging your ex-partner’s actions is a natural response after a divorce. However, you cannot force them to change. You may not like how they live or what they do but judging them can only cause friction. You can accept that they have a different way of handling a situation and work with them to a reasonable outcome. Instead of passing judgment, focus on showcasing to your child that their parents can work together to find a better solution.
- Remember good qualities: Although it may be hard to remember, your ex-spouse has qualities that brought you together in the first place. Keeping these qualities at the front of your mind while you talk to your child about your ex-spouse can be helpful. This can help you keep a positive outlook on your ex-spouse while you co-parent. Even though your marriage together didn’t work out, that doesn’t mean your co-parent is not a good parent. Your child needs both of you in their life and this calm reaction to one another will help support that.
Keeping peace throughout your post-divorced state is hard to manage, but there are useful tools you can use to help make the struggle seem seamless to your child. Taking steps to keep your personal feelings in check for your child is what helps a lot of co-parents, even when you can’t stand the sight of your ex-partner.